The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize