Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
