so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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