I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
