bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
In America we eat man semen.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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