the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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