Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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