Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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