Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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