Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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