I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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