Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize