i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
