I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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