I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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