I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
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