Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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