you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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