HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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