Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My boob is missing a layer of skin
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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