if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
