I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
