Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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