WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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