My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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