What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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