I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
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