Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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