Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dignity is for republicans.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
