he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize