he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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