you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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