he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
from now on my penis is your penis
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.