We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
