On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
