thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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