Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
