Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
