Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
