Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
