In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize