I wish my penis had an off switch
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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