There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
