Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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