clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
