Pants 0. Shit 1.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
