Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
