New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
