They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
