let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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