We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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