Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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