Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
