Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
