I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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