Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Randomize