It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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