the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
