So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
